I feel like so much has happened over the past month, but at the same time, nothing seems to change day to day. It's crazy how that happens. Chloe has been sucking and gumming at everything she can get in her mouth, which makes for a lot of drool. She has also found her feet and is able to roll from her back onto her belly.
I know this is ridiculous, but even though I have heard over and over again that no mom is perfect, everybody makes mistakes, and accidents just happen sometimes, I had higher expectations for myself. I was going to prove everyone wrong. I was going to be the "perfect" mother, I was going to get everything right the first time. HA HA HA. Yeah right. What in the world was I thinking. Holding myself to those expectations has only stressed me out and left me feeling disappointed and not good enough. Well, I'm over it (I hope). I have realized how impractical it is to have such high expectations.
Well, about a week and a half ago, I had myself convinced I was the worst mom. I was getting so down on myself because of one accident. I had given Chloe a bath, and she loves her bath time. She was being so great, even while I washed her face and dried her off. There were no tears at all. So I decided to follow the advice I got in an email newsletter for moms. Babies LOVE being rubbed down with warm lotion. The newsletter said to put the bottle of lotion in the microwave for 10 seconds to heat up the lotion. Now, most people would realize this meant a regular sized bottle but not me. I know, I should have known better, but what can I do now. It wasn't even a regular travel size bottle I used, it was even smaller, the sample size bottle. OOPPS!
I have learned my lesson, if I plan to put WARM lotion on Chloe, I will either heat it up in a bowl of warm water, or just rub it between my hands to heat it up a bit. When I went to poor the lotion in my hand, it came out like water and was super hot. It burned my hands. I threw the bottle and my hands in the air, and unfortunately, two big splotches of lotion landed on Chloe. It burned her perfect, soft skin.
It blistered and popped, but ended up healing pretty quickly. You can imagine how awful I felt though. When I told my family, I was told story after story about how things like this happen to everyone. But my plan to prove everyone wrong about me being different fell through. I am so blessed with a sweet girl though. After she got through the initial pain and shock, I got her calmed down and it didn't bother her again. She was just as full of smiles and giggles as ever, and thank goodness or I don't think I would have ever been able to forgive myself. It's a good thing she is too young to remember this or hold a grudge too or I am sure I would be in big trouble.
Today has been a particularly rough day so far. It is finally slowly turning around, but this morning was hard. Since Chloe can roll over, she is doing it all the time, the only problem is that once she does, she gets frustrated and screams because she hasn't figured out how to get back onto her back yet. Well, she was rolling over in her crib all night, and this morning, about every 30 minutes to an hour, she would wake up screaming because she rolled over and couldn't get back. So, first the lack of sleep is hard enough. Then, when I went to change her diaper, she decided it was time to poop, so I waited and figured I would nurse her first. Well, her diaper was already full, then she pooped, and to top it off, she decided she needed to pee again. So it all came out and covered her and me and our pillow. Once I got us both all cleaned up, she decided she was not happy. Lots and lots of crying and screaming. We went for a walk because that normally calms her down, and it did, however, it didn't make her any less grumpy!
She was glaring at me and giving me dirty looks the whole way. After the walk, we headed over to my parents to say goodbye to my little sister who is leaving for FHSU today! It was so sad, lots of tears. Kelsey has been so great with Chloe and is so sad to have to leave. She will do great but we will all miss having her here. This summer, she has probably been Chloe's #1 babysitter. She has been so patient with her and Chloe sure loves Kelsey too.
Good luck Kelsey! We love you and will see you soon!
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